My original plan was simply to share some of my observations over the first week of not speaking but I first want to share something else with you: I am a wee bit scared.
I realize that one the scale of health problems, this vocal cord nodule is minor. Nonetheless, it is a problem that effects me constantly as well as my family.
I can feel the nodule/lump on the right side of my throat and it constantly hurts so it is on my mind quite a bit and my poor husband has been doing so much talking that his voice is hoarse.
I am concerned also because I made the mistake of quietly speaking to my husband this past Thursday and felt something snap/pop on the left side of my throat. The doctor said after a week I could speak when necessary but at a quiet but not whispering level and that is all I did. I simply wanted to ask my husband to help me make a few business cards to bring to New York City for a Ziploc event where I was to meet Rachael Ray.
Yes, I was supposed to go to NYC and meet RR but did not go. Once I felt that snap/pop in my throat, I was in tears and wanted to go see the doctor. I knew going to the event was not a wise choice so instead I spent the day trying not to be too disappointed.
I worry that after 1.5 weeks of almost 100% silence, that I don’t feel the nodule lessening. I hope to avoid surgery and be able to speak normally in another 1.5 weeks.
Now for some fun, here are my observations during the first week of silence:
1. I am going through a lot of paper.
2. People are very patient while I write – they want to help me and understand what I am trying to ‘say’.
3. People understand gestures quite well and are usually much quicker at understanding those than trying to read my chicken scratch anyway.
4. Most people assume because I am not speaking, that I can not hear either. Often after I hand them my notebook to read what I need to tell them, they grab my pen and start writing back. I tap their arm and indicate to them that I can hear. They often feel a bit embarrassed so I try to reassure them that it is fine. I think it is quite amusing.
5. Most importantly, there are many things we say that do not need to be spoken but I sure do miss saying the most important things.
Use your mouth and words to say something kind and loving today.